You Can't Suck and Blow at the Same Time
If advocacy isn’t for everyone, it’s just theatre.
It always starts the same way.
A well-timed post.
A clever caption.
A wink at the camera that toes the line between just joking and just jabbing.
This time, it was a photo of a "Man-Daid" being slapped on with the caption:
“When a ‘you’ll be fine’ just doesn’t cut it—we slap on a Man-Daid and get back to it.”
Posted during Men’s Mental Health Month, no less.
So I offered another lens.
A reminder that this kind of messaging—the “man up, move on” culture—is exactly what’s killing men in our industry.
What came back?
Not reflection, but deflection.
Not dialogue, but dismissal.
Not empathy, but condescension.
“Look within, Gianluca. This combative back and forth is not good for one’s mental health.”
That’s how it works, right?
Hold someone accountable, and suddenly you’re the problem.
This is how accountability gets flipped into aggression.
How advocacy becomes performance.
How some claim to stand for everyone—until everyone actually speaks.
Let’s be clear:
You don’t get to demean men and claim to advocate for them in the same breath.
You don’t get to champion mental health while mocking the silence that buries us.
You don’t get to demand inclusion while pushing others out when they speak up.
And yes—it cuts both ways.
Men don’t get to ask women for allyship while talking over them, silencing their concerns, or making their struggles small.
Respect isn’t a one-way demand—it’s a two-way discipline.
You don’t get to say you’re for everyone unless you’re actually for everyone.
Here’s a thought:
If the bandaids come in pink too, why didn’t you say that?
Why didn’t the post include both versions?
Simple—because the joke only works when the punchline is about men.
And when that punchline gets called out? Suddenly, it’s “you’re being combative.”
Let’s flip the script for a second.
If a man had posted a photo of pink “Wom-an-Daids” with a dismissive quip about women in construction?
It would’ve gone off like a napalm bomb. And rightfully so.
So why the double standard?
Why is it that when men are the target, the world laughs—
but when men speak up, the world winces?
This is what’s driving good men into retreat.
Not because they’re fragile—but because they’re tired.
Tired of being mocked, mislabeled, and misunderstood.
Tired of being invited into the conversation only to be told they’re too loud, too sensitive, too… male.
If we truly want allyship—and I do—
Then we need to stop painting each other as the enemy.
We need to stop pointing fingers and start offering hands.
And we need to understand: advocacy isn’t a zero-sum game.
I’ve spent years building bridges in this industry.
Calling out toxic systems—not sexes.
Working with and for women.
Mentoring and being mentored by them.
And I will always support those who walk the talk with integrity.
But if we can’t even give men their space during their month—
Maybe we’re not as inclusive as we like to think we are.
So I’ll say this plainly:
You don’t get to shame the group that’s still dying in silence.
Not now.
Not this month.
Not on my watch.